Tuesday, February 23, 2016

How I Learned to Love my Scars

"Argh, these darn stretch marks itch so bad I'm going to scratch right through my belly!" I hollered across the bed to my husband. He tried to reassure me, "I really don't think that's a possibility."

So I came up with a grand plan...

I found the container of Bag Balm I had in my cupboard of animal medicine. It's kind of like Vaseline for udders on cows that are getting dry and chapped while nursing calves.


I hustled into the kitchen and dug out a roll of saran wrap and hurriedly put my plan into action. Quickly, I smeared this wonderful cow product all over my 7 month pregnant belly. A deep sigh slipped out of me as the itching eased a little.


Now, if I would have just stopped there, I think the outcome would have been different. But, I’ve never been one to say whoa in a horse race! I decided to hold as much moisture in as possible by wrapping my whole midsection in saran wrap before crawling back into bed.


Oh, the horror the next morning!


I ripped the saran wrap off my belly as fast as possible as it burned with a thousand hot needles. Every inch of my not so little baby bump was covered in a heat rash. Sweet Jesus come now!


I still have all those wonderful tiger stripes to this day. The scars left from a belly that literally grew overnight.


I wish I could tell you that I always loved these scars left behind but there were many days I struggled with them. But…they are a constant reminder of God’s goodness and mercy towards me.


You see, I was told early on in my marriage by a specialist the chance of me ever having a child of my own was slim to none. Unfortunately my insides were so full of scar tissue from prior abuse that it would take a lot of medical help and even then there was no guarantee.


So what do you do with that information as a young wife? I cried. I hollered at God. When would it be enough? Was life just going to be one big heartache after another?


God is faithful however and sent strong women of faith to stand in the gap for me when I couldn’t face it alone. They laid hands on me and prayed over me.


I flopped on my bed that night and cried tears of release. I died to my plans right there. I’ll never forget crying out to God, “I give up, whatever your plans are for me I will trust you. If it’s your will that I have a child Lord I trust You alone to do it. Either way, I will praise you.”


Does that mean it was easy every morning to wake up and trust Him? Maybe for others it is but it hasn’t ever come naturally to me. Every time my own will tried to creep in and take over I had to to call out to Jesus to help me bring it back in line with Him.


Now every time I look at the scars left on my stomach I’m reminded of God’s miracles in my life.


His mercy and grace are beyond compare!

My two wonderful sons from their younger days

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~Laura~

18 comments:

  1. Laura,
    Wow, what blessings...I love the photo of your two boys...I struggled with infertility...and I can relate to seeing our scars with a different perspective...joy to you :-)

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    1. I miss those days with my boys but love the the relationships I have with them now that they're adults too. I'm thankful we can appreciate our scars now. Blessings to you.

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  2. Beautiful testimony, Laura. The scars of blessing! (We're neighbors at #TellHisStory today.)

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    1. Thank you! Glad you stopped over. Blessings to you!

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  3. Scarred people are beautiful people. I've always believed that to be true.

    Thank you for your honesty. Through this, you have inspired your readers. Keep shining!

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    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement! I appreciate it. Blessings to you.

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  4. I loved reading the testimony of God's healing grace in your life!

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    1. Thank you Elizabeth. Glad you stopped by!

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  5. What blessings you have - stripes and all. They are perfect.
    Blessings,
    Janis

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    1. Thanks Janis. They're both adults now and I still praise God for them every day. Blessings to you as well.

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  6. Awe, aren't they just adorable. Oh, Laura, it feels like a minute ago that mine were that little. They grow up so very fast. Praise the Lord that He opened your womb. I can't think of a better reason for scars. ((sweet blessings))

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    1. Brenda, I blinked and mine were adults. The picture above feels like a lifetime ago and yet just yesterday. Blessings to you!

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  7. I love your story, and your writing takes on a whole new element of authenticity for me, because now I KNOW you write exactly how you talk. Beautiful story, and funny too....bless your young heart. I'm sure your boys are grateful for your scars, I always remind my girls that those darn stretch marks are all their fault.

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    1. Thank you so much Sarah! That means a lot to me. At 19 and 21 I'm not sure they really think about it much but praying they never forget the miracle God worked in our family.

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  8. I know about rashes, pain, and scars. I know they can be hard to look pass, but you have managed to do with humor and love. Thank you . You have blessed me today.

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    1. Mary, thank you so much. Such kind words. Blessings to you today!

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  9. Your post is great! But, I just have to say I cracked up when you spoke of Bag Balm! I'm a city girl turned country girl and I learned about all the things Bag Balm can do. I've never put it on my belly 😊 But it works great for infected pierced ears! God Bless, Cindy #livefreeThursday

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    1. Isn't it great stuff Cindy! Thanks for stopping over. Blessings to you as well.

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