That time God asked me to …
Put down the idol of motherhood.
Maybe I missed all the discussions about empty nest before I headed into this new territory. Or could it be we simply don’t discuss it very much?
Since venturing into these new waters I’ve asked for advice but most people either just tell me to be happy about it or keep busy so I don’t have to deal with it.
Can I be real honest for a minute? I did NOT handle it real well in the beginning. My life had been filled with so many of my kids’ sports and events I felt completely isolated when it all came to end.
Don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing husband who was always there for me but for several months I walked around in a bit of a fog. Not real sure of what my identity was anymore. Can you relate?
Yes, I’ll always be a mom but my job in that role had taken such a drastic turn I wasn’t sure what to do next.
So, how did I handle this new season of life?
I dove deep into writing and I do believe it helped me process a lot. But…writing can be very lonely. There is an amazing network of support out there in the cyber world but it’s different than face to face.
It’s a BIG switch from having kids who need you.
Trusting that God loves my sons even more than I do was a bit of lip service from me for years. I WANTED to believe it. I sure told myself I believed it. I’m sure I shared with others I believed it. It was just hard to completely believe it.
Seriously God, can’t you see how much I love my kids down here?
How could anyone, including God, love them as much as I do? They’re my life.
Oh crud, there it was!! God revealed to me some hard truth that wasn’t fun to hear but needed light brought to it. I had placed my role as a mother above my identity as a child of God. My kids were truly my life. Everything, including God, took a back seat to them. Ouch!
I don’t really remember when it happened but somehow it just slipped in quietly when I wasn’t looking. The martyrdom of motherhood.
I wasn’t one of those women who dreamed of being a mom growing up. There were no real plans to go down that road honestly. I had big plans for my life and men and children simply weren’t in those plans.
Want to hear God laugh…tell Him your plans!
Not only did I end up marrying and having kids, I did it fairly young. Shortly after getting married I was told I wouldn’t be able to have kids. So, when my role in life did shift I dove in headfirst.
My whole world was my little family. As they grew older and the time grew closer for them to leave the nest I held on even tighter. Fear settled in big time! Am I alone in this?
Often we don’t recognize fear and anxiety when we’re in the middle of it. We can feel twinges of panic and try to dismiss them as just part of life. How often do we try to rationalize our fears and worries away? Or just go through life with emotional blinders on in a futile attempt at not dealing with yet again another scary change.
Now that we have discussed the feelings as empty nest approaches, join me in the next post as we explore the different ways to make this transition easier.
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